


doomed nepeta #3312

by yogurtpretzels



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (the twist is nepeta), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad cat puns, Canonical Character Death, Doomed Timeline(s) (Homestuck), Gen, Meteorstuck, Not Really Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Retcon Timeline, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yogurtpretzels/pseuds/yogurtpretzels
Summary: Nepeta Lejion attempts to avenge her fallen moirail and dies at Gamzee’s hands. We already know this.SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY, the ghost of Nepeta Lejion from Doomed Timeline #3312 gets trapped inside a shattering dream bubble, falls into nothingness, and regains consciousness in a strange laboratory where she’s also dead and Terezi Pyrope claims to be alive and in the alpha timeline.OR: the most irrelevant relevant beta troll suddenly gets another chance to be relevant. And another chance to be alive. And the chance to run around a meteor for three human years.OR: NEPETAQUEST 2k20 REMIX
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nepeta Leijon & Terezi Pyrope, Nepeta Lejion & Everyone, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, although the vrisrezi hints at becoming significantly less backgroundish, so davekat and rosemary and vrisrezi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	1. ==> get slingshot back into the land of the living

**Author's Note:**

> title is based off a line from page 7993 specifically when karkat refers to the ghost of “doomed equius #43582”
> 
> i dont know why im writing this or how i managed to complete a chapter of this fic but nepetas valid so here we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we go homestucks

==> Be Nepeta Lejion.

Your name is NEPETA LEJION, and things are not going really great for you right now.

It has been roughly eight hours since you and your teammates were ambushed by an invincible demon right before you could claim the ULTIMATE REWARD for beating SGRUB. It has also been roughly eight hours since your teammate ARADIA MEGIDO saved all of your lives by throwing you through a transporter to a lab on a meteor somewhere in the VEIL. You have then proceeded to spend your time on said meteor creating a new SHIPPING WALL in a hidden corner of the lab, hanging out with your MOIRAIL, EQUIUS ZAHHAK, or talking to the DEAD FELINE SPRITE of an ALIEN GIRL from the universe you helped create in your session. However, it has only been a few minutes before you received word that at least three of your former teammates were going on MURDEROUS RAMPAGES and that several of your friends were already dead. Your leader, KARKAT VANTAS, enlisted the help of Equius to detain and/or kill one or more of these murderers, which he set out to do, but not before ordering you to hide somewhere safe.

Which you were going to do, but you’re _purrfectly_ capable of defending yourself should it come to that, and besides, you were worried about your moirail. Instead you decided to sneak around through the VENTILATION SYSTEM, discovering, among other things, a damaged transportalizer, an ominous message written in bronze blood, and (worst of all) Equius attempting to talk reason into GAMZEE MAKARA, supremely insane SUBJUGGULATOR and POTENTIAL MURDERER. Unsurprisingly, the clown was not interested in reason, instead choosing to murder your moirail as you watched in horror, unable to intervene from your hiding spot.

We already know what happens next.

You’re going to jump out of your hiding place with the intention of AVENGING your fallen moirail, but the clown will be ready for you and you’ll die at the hands of the BARD OF RAGE as well. It will be a heroic sacrifice, albeit a pointless one.

We’ll spare you the gruesome details of the fight.

==> Nepeta: Die.

You can’t be Nepeta Lejion anymore, because Nepeta Lejion is dead.

==> Fine, then. Be the other Nepeta Lejion.

You are now the ghost of NEPETA LEJION from DOOMED TIMELINE #3312.

You learned that you were unequivocally doomed hours after entering the game. Your teammate, ghost-turned-soulbot ARADIA MEGIDO, considerately waited until all of your friends had entered the game before calling a meeting on her planet, the LAND OF QUARTZ AND MELODY. Once everyone was on her planet, she’d informed you all that you were in a “doomed timeline” because of a mistake she’d made, offered a half-hearted robotic apology, and announced that she would be jumping to the alpha timeline in order to help in some sort of big battle. And then she grabbed two music-box looking thingies and promptly disappeared right in front of everyone’s eyes.

After Aradia left, the rest of your team started to fall apart. The heroes of HOPE and DOOM, ERIDAN AMPORA and SOLLUX CAPTOR, died in a duel that also destroyed the LAND OF BRAINS AND FIRE. The hero of SPACE, KANAYA MARYAM, diligently attempted to breed frogs nonetheless but died in some kind of accident related to her planet’s FORGE. You were sad about their deaths, but you carried on adventuring in the LAND OF LITTLE CUBES AND TEA with your dear MOIRAIL, EQUIUS ZAHHAK. Together you fought lots of bad guys and did lots of fun quests. During one of these quests, you were seriously injured, so Equius decided to bring you to your QUEST BED, where you died and rose up as the GOD TIER ROGUE OF HEART! Dying had been sad and painful, but your new outfit was comfy, and you liked being able to jump even higher and pounce even farther than you used to.

Sadly, the rest of your teammates hadn’t all been doing so great. You’re not completely sure how it happened, but somehow GAMZEE MAKARA, the loopy purpleblooded BARD OF RAGE, snapped and started travelling around your session on a MURDERING SPREE. Your planet, where you and Equius spent most of your time, was one of the first he arrived on.

You think you might have had a better chance of survival if you hadn’t been caught by surprise. One minute you’d been alone with your moirail, the next the clown had dropped out of nowhere and kicked Equius off the very high cliff you’d been on. You barely had the time to look over the cliff to ascertain that yes, Equius was very dead, before you heard sinister honking behind you and whirled to face Gamzee, slowly approaching you with a COMPLETELY CRAZY SMILE.

You’d like to think that you put up a good fight against him, but you lost anyway, and apparently your death had been judged HEROIC or JUST by PARADOX SPACE because after you died you woke up in a place you later learned was called a DREAM BUBBLE.

You don’t really remember how long you spent in the dream bubbles, because time worked so much differently in the FURTHEST RING, but being dead wasn’t that bad. You met a lot of other ghosts, dead versions of you and your friends and your ancestors from different timelines. You were able to find some of your friends from your timeline, including Equius. You met a couple of dead Nepetas, which was a little weird but you got used to it. You even met your dancestor, MEULIN LEJION, and you think she’s kind of goofy and a little too trusting of the clown from her session but not completely terrible.

You also learned about what was happening in the ALPHA TIMELINE from the other ghosts in the dream bubbles. You learned that the alpha timeline trolls-including ALPHA TIMELINE YOU-were able to win their game and make a new universe, but they were ambushed right before they could claim their reward. You learned that in the alpha timeline, all the trolls were hiding in a lab on a meteor, where they discovered a group of four alien kids from the universe they made were also playing Sgrub, but under the name SBURB. Apparently in the alpha timeline, these “human” players were somehow part of the reason you and your friends hadn’t been able to claim the Ultimate Reward. And because alpha timeline Karkat had decided that the human players were part of the problem, he’d ordered everyone to troll and bully them to the best of their abilities for...some reason.

You really weren’t sure what Karkat was trying to accomplish there. He’s a good guy, but there are really times where you wonder just why on Alternia you used to have a crush on him.

You weren’t completely sure what happened to the alpha timeline trolls after that, because that was when LORD ENGLISH, the time-traveling demon and VERY BAD PURRSON, decided to destroy another couple of dream bubbles, including the one you were in at the moment.

You remember how it happened. The sky of the dream bubble suddenly cracked apart, and you got a brief glimpse of a green face with ugly flashing eyes before the ground under your feet crumbled and you fell into nothingness.

You remember falling, seeing shards of the Furthest Ring falling with you, and wondering if this was how it finally ends for you. You are about to die. Again.

A cascade of reality splinters explodes over you. It’s the last thing you remember for a while.

==> Nepeta: Wake.

You’re working on that right now.

Your head hurts so much.

NEPETA: :33 < ow ow ow

NEPETA: :33 < where am i?

You force your eyes open.

You’re lying on a cold and weirdly clammy floor and staring up at a flickering light. You slowly pick yourself up from the ground as you assess your surroundings. You’re in a poorly lit corridor with metal walls and floors that have...uh...flecks of troll blood on them.

Are you in a dream bubble? You’re pretty sure you just fell out of one, but...maybe the HORRORTERRORS just pulled a PSYCH 2X COMBO on you and dumped you back into the afterlife. If this is a dream bubble, whose memory is it from?

==> Nepeta: Explore.

You choose a direction at random and wander off down the corridor, searching for signs of life.

NEPETA: :33 < hello? anypawdy here?

Something crunches under your feet. You look down to find that you’ve stepped on a BROKEN 8-BALL, which you promptly kick aside. It rolls through a doorway into another room.

==> Nepeta: Investigate room.

You step inside the doorway and...Oh.

Oh yikes.

Lying on the floor in a puddle of olive blood is your own DEAD BODY, or at least, the dead body of some version of Nepeta Lejion from a different timeline than yours. Near it is another dead body, this one belonging to an Equius who seems to have died by getting choked with a broken bow.

You avert your eyes quickly, feeling a little sick. Yes, you’re dead and you are aware of that fact. Yes, your moirail is also dead and you are also aware of that fact. Yes, there are hundreds of doomed timelines where you and Equius die and you also knew that because you’ve met other dead versions of you and your friends. Somehow that still does nothing to make the sight of your own dead body and that of your moirail any less horrifying.

You try to focus on the other stuff in the room. There are traces of purple blood and another broken 8-ball near the dead Nepeta, as well as a note written on what seems to be part of a movie poster.

You pick up the note.

==> Nepeta: Read note.

it was gamzee you idiot!!!

um...over

You flip the note over.

hey terezi...when you told me to say ‘you don’t need him’, did you mean karkat or dave? maybe you shouldn’t date dave either. the way you and he described it, it sounds like it got weird. i dunno, just offering some friendly dating advice! man, this caper we’re doing is so crazy. anyway, later!

You have so many questions.

NEPETA: :33 < this note is addressed to terezi

NEPETA: :33 < but who is it from?

NEPETA: :33 < is this the memory of an alternate timeline terezi from a timeline where we made it to a meteor in the furthest ring but equius and i still got killed by gamz33?

NEPETA: :33 < something feels furry wrong about this dream bubble

NEPETA: :33 < i just wish i knew what

==> Nepeta: Be distracted.

You are summarily distracted from your monologuing by a distant crash. You immediately exit the room and sprint towards the direction from which you heard the noise. In a dream bubble, noise means company, and if you have company, you might be able to learn more about where you are and figure out what’s going on.

The noise seemed to have come from a displaced floor tile which is obviously a trapdoor to a room with no other visible points of entry. The only ways in or out are either through the trapdoor (which will give you a very undignified entrance and will not allow you to assess your surroundings quickly) or through the air vents. You crawl into the vent.

NEPETA: :33 < ughh this is n33dlessly complicated

NEPETA: :33< being dead sucks! fiddlesticks!

NEPETA: :33 < hey wait

NEPETA: :33 < equius isnt here

NEPETA: :33 < i can swear as much as i want!

NEPETA: :33 < fuuuuuu

==> Be Terezi Pyrope.

You are now TEREZI PYROPE.

You are currently investigating the BRUTAL MURDERS of several of your former team members. You discovered TAVROS NITRAM’s dead body first, under suspicious circumstances that seemed to imply that VRISKA SERKET, your dear EX-PARTNER IN CRIME and BORDERLINE PSYCHOPATH, was responsible for his demise. Not long afterwards, you happened upon the bodies of FEFERI PEIXES, EQUIUS ZAHHAK, and NEPETA LEJION, although you are starting to suspect that some of these murders might not be Vriska’s doing, not least because of the confusing note you’d found written in chalky blueberry, addressed to you and accusing GAMZEE MAKARA of doing some of the murders.

While continuing your 1NV3ST1G4T1ON and wandering the METEOR, however, you fell through a trapdoor that took you to a hidden room with all the exits blocked, except for the trapdoor you entered through and the vents. But who’d use the vents, anyway?

You are currently exploring the secret room, although you are becoming aware of the fact that something is moving around the room too quickly for you to get a good whiff of them. You’re not sure what to do about that, though.

==> HONK.

All of a sudden, you hear an extremely loud honking noise from somewhere else in the room. Startled, you whirl around and find yourself face-to-face with Gamzee, bleeding grape jelly blood from several long scratches across his face and clutching a floppy, vaguely sinister-smelling puppet that you _thought_ belonged to the human coolkid’s human lusus.

He smells distinctly surprsied that you have noticed him. You’re feeling a mix of emotions right now, but the one that comes to mind first is EXTREME CONFUSION.

The two of you just stare at each other for a few seconds, unsure what to do next, until the vent over Gamzee’s head clatters open and a blur of olive shoots out and knocks the clown to the floor.

NEPETA: :33 < *the mighty huntress bursts into the room and knocks the furry bad clown to the floor!*

GAMZEE: HONK

NEPETA: :33 < oh youre not going anywhere meowkara!

NEPETA: :33 < its time for you to answer for your crimes!

TEREZI: N3P3T4?

TEREZI: 1

TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 D34D

NEPETA: :33 < me too

TEREZI: WH4T

You sniff more closely at the Nepeta pinning Gamzee to the floor. Unlike the dead body you found a couple of minutes ago, this Nepeta is wearing a different set of clothes under her olive trenchcoat-a tunic and pants with long boots, as well as a band of fabric in her hair, all in delectable cherry magenta hues. On her chest is a pink heart that must be the symbol of her aspect, Heart.

Nepeta is wearing what can only be a GOD TIER outfit, but how is it possible that she’s here, hissing at the clown and staring around the room, when you just saw her dead body? Was Nepeta able to go god tier during your session and just hid it from the rest of you? But what reason would she have to hide that in the first place?

NEPETA: :33 < so um terezi

NEPETA: :33 < is this your memory?

TEREZI: 1’M NOT SUR3 WH4T YOU M34N BY TH4T

TEREZI: BUT W3’R3 ON TH3 S4M3 M3T3OR TH4T W3’V3 B33N ON FOR TH3 L4ST 31GHT HOURS OR SO

NEPETA: :33 < meteor?

NEPETA: :33 < wait

NEPETA: :OO < wait oh my gosh

NEPETA: :OO < terezi youre alive arent you

NEPETA: :OO < this isnt a dream bubble

TEREZI: 1 4M NOT COMPL3T3LY CL34R ON WH4T D3F1N3S 4 DR34M BUBBL3 BUT 1 4M QU1T3 C3RT41N 1 4M NOT 1N ON3 R1GHT NOW

TEREZI: 1 4M V3RY MUCH 4W4K3 4ND 4L1V3

TEREZI: 4ND G1V3N TH4T YOU 4R3 H4V1NG TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON W1TH M3 R1GHT NOW 1 WOULD 4SSUM3 TH4T YOU 4R3 TOO

NEPETA: :33 < but

NEPETA: :33 < i died

NEPETA: :33 < i remember dying and being a ghost

NEPETA: :33 < and THIS jerkass killed me

GAMZEE: HONK

TEREZI: Y34H 4BOUT TH4T

TEREZI: 1 H4V3 R34SON TO SUSP3CT H3 1S 4LSO R3SPONS1BL3 FOR TH3 MURD3RS OF SOM3 OF MY FORM3R T34MM4T3S

TEREZI: 1NCLUD1NG YOU 4S 4 M4TT3R OF F4CT

TEREZI: 4ND L1ST3N 1 G3T TH4T YOU’R3 1N SHOCK OV3R NOT B31NG 4S D34D 4S YOU THOUGHT YOU W3R3 BUT 1S 1T OK4Y 1F YOU H3LP M3 D34L W1TH G4MZ33 F1RST

TEREZI: TH3R3’S SOM3 ROP3 OV3R H3R3

NEPETA: :33 < i

NEPETA: :33 < yes i can help with that

==> Nepeta: Timeskip to after you and Alternate Timeline (?) Terezi tie up Alternate Timeline (??) Gamzee and after Terezi has the bright idea of gagging Gamzee with one of his lousy horns and after Terezi decides to change into her old FLARPing costume for dramatic effect and is finally ready to help you bust out of the secret room.

NEPETA: :33 < so youre a terezi from a different timeline right

NEPETA: :33 < youre still terezi of course but not the terezi i knew from my timeline

NEPETA: :33 < and you knew a version of me from this timeline who also got killed by gamz33

NEPETA: :33 < wait the nepeta from this timeline is the one i found outside next to a dead equius huh

TEREZI: Y34H

TEREZI: UNFORTUN4T3LY YOU 4R3 CORR3CT

NEPETA: :// < well that sure sucks for alternate timeline me

NEPETA: :33 < speaking of which were in youre timeline right

TEREZI: YUP

TEREZI: TH3 4LPH4 T1M3L1N3 TO B3 3X4CT

NEPETA: :OO < whoa were in the alpha timeline?

NEPETA: :OO < youre alpha timeline terezi?

TEREZI: Y3S

TEREZI: L4ST 1 CH3CK3D

NEPETA: :33 < but how could i pawsibly be in the alpha timeline?

TEREZI: B34TS M3

TEREZI: S1NC3 YOU’R3 NOT TH3 N3P3T4 FROM MY T1M3L1N3 1’M GU3SS1NG YOU C4M3 FROM 4 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3

NEPETA: :33 < yeah purretty much

NEPETA: :33 < its a long story but thats not impurrtant right now because we n33d to get out of this room

TEREZI: 4GR33D

TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1 C4N K1CK TH3 DOOR DOWN

NEPETA: :33 < okay thats good

NEPETA: :33 < and then what?

TEREZI: W3LL 1’M H34D1NG TO TH3 ROOF OF TH1S M3T3OR

TEREZI: 1 N33D TO H4V3 4 WORD W1TH VR1SK4

TEREZI: YOU’R3 W3LCOM3 TO JO1N M3

==> Terezi: Kick down door like a badass and proceed to roof.

You exit the secret room and make your way to the roof of the meteor with Doomed Timeline Nepeta (?) trailing behind you and helping you drag Gamzee along.

Vriska is waiting for you on the roof, of course, wearing her god tier clothes and smirking at you.

VRISKA: Hey, Redglare. Nice outfit!

TEREZI: S4M3 TO YOU M1NDF4...VR1SK4

TEREZI: 4S MUCH 4S 1T P41NS M3 TO 4DM1T, YOUR FRU1TY OR4NG3 F41RYSU1T SM3LLS...

TEREZI: D3L1C1OUS >:[

VRISKA: Thanks! I see you finally wised up and started taking this rivalry seriously.

VRISKA: It was hard to antagonize you properly while you refused to get in character! ::::)

TEREZI: 1 4M NOT 1N CH4R4CT3R!

VRISKA: Sure, Neophyte!

NEPETA: :33 < uhh

VRISKA: And Nepeta is here too, for...some reason?

VRISKA: And so is Gamzee. Or more like you 8rought him with you, possi8ly against his will?

VRISKA: Why’s he tied up?

TEREZI: H3 M4Y H4V3 COM1TT3D SOM3 MURD3RS

VRISKA: Oh. I heard he flipped out or something 8ut I wasn’t too clear on the details.

VRISKA: I guess that explains a lot!

TEREZI: NOT SO F4ST, VR1SK4

TEREZI: YOU’R3 NOT ENT1R3LY 1NNOC3NT

TEREZI: 1 H4V3 R34SON TO B3L13V3 YOU 4LSO K1LL3D SOM3 OF OUR FR13NDS

VRISKA: Oh, right.

VRISKA: So you’re here for revenge.

TEREZI: NO, JUST1C3

TEREZI: JUST1C3 FOR TH3 BRUT4L MURD3RS OF OUR FR13NDS

VRISKA: Riiiiiiight. Who’s dead, again?

TEREZI: >:/

VRISKA: Okay, okay! There was like........ONE murder I was responsi8le for.

VRISKA: You know Tavros? That was me.

VRISKA: I guess.

VRISKA: 8ut that’s it! He’s the only one I killed, just that one guy!

NEPETA: :33 < wait how many of you are dead?

VRISKA: Uh........

TEREZI: TOO M4NY

TEREZI: 1F YOU H4V3 TO 4SK 4 QU3ST1ON L1K3 TH4T TH3 4NSW3R 1S PROB4BLY TOO M4NY

TEREZI: BUT TH4T 1S NOT TH3 ONLY R34SON 1’M H3R3, VR1SK4

TEREZI: W3 BOTH KNOW YOU C4N’T B34T J4CK

TEREZI: 4LL TH4T W1LL H4PP3N 1S TH4T YOU W1LL L34D H1M H3R3 4ND H3 W1LL K1LL US 4LL

TEREZI: H3 W1LL FOLLOW YOUR SUG4RY P1X13 TR41L W1TH H1S K33N C4N1N3 SNOUT

TEREZI: 1 H4V3 4LR34DY S33N TH1S CONS3QU3NC3 1N MY M1NDS 3Y3

VRISKA: Fascin8ting! Why don’t you tell me your terms already?

VRISKA: Forget my pixie trail. At this r8, my snoring will lead him to us! Heh.

TEREZI: WH4T 1 PROPOS3 1S S1MPL3

TEREZI: 1 FL1P

TEREZI: H34DS, YOU ST4Y

TEREZI: SCR4TCH, YOU GO

VRISKA: You’re kidding, right? You want LUCK to decide this?

VRISKA: May8e you’ve forgotten who you’re dealing with. I am the Thief of Light. I’ve got allllllll the luck, remem8er? ::::)

TEREZI: 1 D1D NOT FORGET

TEREZI: WH4T W1LL 1T B3, M4RQU1S3?

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA: Just flip the coin, Neophyte.

==> Flip.

You are NEPETA LEJION again, and you’re still grappling with the fact that you are somehow _outside of the dream bubbles_ and in the ALPHA TIMELINE, to boot, and for some reason you HAVE YET TO CEASE TO EXIST. You just got out of the locked room with the help of Alpha Timeline Terezi, who insisted that she had to make her way to the roof of the meteor lab to “confront” Vriska. Then when you got to the roof, her mildly confusing _(how many people were dead??)_ exchange with Vriska had ended in a coin flip with ominous-sounding terms.

Terezi’s coin tumbles through the air. Vriska’s compound eye seems to flash for a second. You hover nervously on the edge of the confrontation, trying to work out what they’re gambling on-because you are good at observing and analysing your teammates, always have been, and almost every iteration of Terezi Pyrope and Vriska Serket that you know of has a messy relationship with each other. They love each other, they hate each other, they’re wigglerhood friends, they hurt each other badly, they care about each other more than anyone else does and more than they would ever care to admit, they make deals whose terms they test and break like nobody else would, they gamble on each other’s egos and motivations because they are completely certain of their knowledge of the other.

You think they should really be in a quadrant, but you can’t quite put your finger on which one.

The coin lands.

VRISKA: What do you know? It’s scratch side up.

TEREZI: WH4T 4 CO1NC1D3NC3

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS YOU H4V3 TO GO NOW

VRISKA: Hahahahahahahaha, of course!

VRISKA: L8er, Pyrope! ::::)

Vriska prepares to leave, turning away from the coin and towards the sky. You glance at Terezi, whose hand goes to her cane. She’s slowly pulling the cane apart, and you remember that Terezi’s cane usually has at least one sword hidden inside it. And then Terezi has a sword in her hand and _everything suddenly makes sense you know what they were gambling on you realize that “go” had a double meaning holy heck Terezi is going to kill Vriska before she can take off._

You...think you should stop Terezi. It only takes a few seconds for you to understand and for Terezi to raise her sword, but in those seconds you deliberate whether or not you should intervene. You were always kind of scared of Vriska before, and you still can’t say you really like her, but you don’t really want to see another one of your co-players die before your eyes. You consider lunging to block Terezi’s sword while kicking Vriska’s legs out from under her. Vriska doesn’t die, but you knock her off-balance and have the time to kick her in the head so you can tie her up, if that’s what you have to do to keep her from leaving.

That’s a good idea, so you decide to put it in action. As you lunge for Terezi, however, you unexpectedly discover that someone else from a completely different timeline has a similar idea.

==> John and Nepeta: Intervene.

JOHN: NOOOOO, TEREZI!

JOHN: DON’T DO IT!!!

VRISKA: John????????

NEPETA: :33 < umpf

TEREZI: N3P3T4 WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG

VRISKA: John, what are you doing heAUGH!!!!!!!!

JOHN: KAPOW!!!!!

TEREZI: JOHN NO!

TEREZI: N3P3T4 L3T GO OF M3 4LR34DY D4MM1T! >:O

NEPETA: XKK < hissss

TEREZI: JOHN, WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3?

JOHN: whew! that was close.

NEPETA: :33 < ooh is that a human?

NEPETA: :33 < he looks so squishy and silly

JOHN: oh hi there! are you the cat troll?

NEPETA: :33 < yes! my name is nepeta though

JOHN: oh okay!

JOHN: hello nepeta, i am john! it’s nice to meet you!

JOHN: i thought you were dead, though.

NEPETA: :33 < yes i thought so too it is furry confusing

TEREZI: JOHN, WHY 4R3 YOU H3R3??

TEREZI: _HOW_ 4R3 YOU H3R3???

JOHN: it’s a long story terezi. don’t worry about it.

JOHN: the important thing here is, we did it. everything’s going to be ok now.

TEREZI: D1D _WH4T?!_

JOHN: um...

JOHN: i’m not sure, actually.

TEREZI: OH MY GOSH

JOHN: well, i just clobbered vriska and knocked her out, like you said.

JOHN: jeez, i hope i didn’t punch too hard...

==> Nepeta: Be very confused.

Terezi is having a heated conversation with the human boy, John, that you can’t quite follow. There’s something about doomed timelines and weird retcon magic (whatefur that is??) and an older, wiser, and dead version of Terezi. Then John pulls out what looks like a long red scarf with teal writing on it and Terezi tries to grab it, several times, while they both continue yelling about timelines and pranks and...wallets?

TEREZI: M4YB3 1F YOU COULD T3LL M3 *WHY* YOU N33D TH3 W4LL3T, W3 COULD M4K3 OTH3R PL4NS TO COMP3NS4T3?

JOHN: um.

JOHN: i dunno. maybe you need to captcha somehing really big?

TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T

JOHN: i don’t know!

JOHN: it’s just some vague crap you wrote on a scarf!

KARKAT: JOHN????

JOHN: oh shit.

NEPETA: :33 < hey its karkitty!

KARKAT: JOHN, HOW IN THE CONTEMPTIBLE NAME OF MY PERMANENTLY HATE-SOILED JERKOFF TROUSERS CAN YOU ***POSSIBLY*** BE HERE?!

JOHN: no, i’m not doing this!

JOHN: i’m not explaining the retcon shit again!

KARKAT: RET- _WHAT_ SHIT??

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO VRISKA??

KARKAT: IS

KARKAT: IS THAT *GAMZEE* TIED UP ON THE FLOOR THERE?

KARKAT: WITH A HORN SHOVED IN HIS MOUTH???

KARKAT: AND WHY IS NEPETA HERE, AND IN A GOD TIER OUTFIT NO LESS?????

NEPETA: :33 < hi karkat nice to s33 you again :33

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT? ONE STUPID THING AT A TIME.

KARKAT: NEPETA, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU EVEN GOT HERE, BUT WE’LL GET BACK TO THAT LATER.

KARKAT: TEREZI, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I THOUGHT GAMZEE HAD GOTTEN TO YOU FOR SURE.

TEREZI: TH4T 1S SW33T OF YOU K4RK4T, BUT TH3R3 W4S NO N33D TO WORRY

TEREZI: 1 CR4CK3D TH3 C4S3

TEREZI: W1TH 1NV3ST1G4T1ON SK1LLS L1K3 M1N3, 1T W4S 1N3V1T4BL3 >:]

NEPETA: :33 < i helped by tackling the subjuggulator

TEREZI: TH4T 1S CORR3CT

TEREZI: W3 C4NNOT FORG3T TH3 M1GHTY HUNTR3SS’S 1NV4LU4BL3 4SS1ST4NC3 1N C4PTUR1NG TH3 CR1M1N4L

KARKAT: UM, OK???

KARKAT: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF SOMEBODY HAD TOLD ME WHAT SORT OF PREPOSTEROUS SHIT WAS TAKING PLACE UP HERE.

KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENED TO VRISKA? WHY IS SHE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR?!

JOHN: because i punched her in the face.

KARKAT: WHAT

NEPETA: :33 < he punched vriskers in the face

KARKAT: OK, LISTEN.

KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

KARKAT: EGBERT AND NEPETA, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO *BEGIN* ADDRESSING THE GLOBE NUMBING ABSURDITY OF THIS ENTIRE SITUATION, LET ALONE YOUR COMBINED PRESENCE ON THIS ROOF.

KARKAT: BUT LET’S JUST AWKWARDLY STRAFE ALONG THE PERIMETER OF THAT HUMONGOUS, STINK-BELCHING TRUNKBEAST IN THE ROOM, AND LET THE VIOLENTLY UNINHIBITED NERD-GRILLING COMMENCE.

KARKAT: EGBERT, *WHY* DID YOU PUNCH VRISKA IN THE FACE?????????

KARKAT: I MEAN...

KARKAT: NOT THAT I NECESSARILY BLAME YOU, BUT STILL.

NEPETA: :33 < vriska was going to leave the meteor to fight jack and she had to be stopped

JOHN: really?

JOHN: all i know is that terezi was going to try and kill vriska and i had to knock her out to stop that.

KARKAT: OKAY, THAT

KARKAT: THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AT ALL.

KARKAT: I MEAN, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE SORT OF GRANDIOSE, GLORY-SEEKING THING VRISKA WOULD DO, SO I GUESS THAT CHECKS OUT.

KARKAT: WHAT I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND IS WHAT EGBERT HAS TO DO WITH ANYTHING.

KARKAT: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD TO KNOCK VRISKA OUT AHEAD OF TIME, MUCH LESS SHOW UP ON THIS STUPID ROCK AT THE RIGHT TIME TO DELIVER THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH IN THE FIRST PLACE?

JOHN: karkat, take it easy.

JOHN: here, look at this.

KARKAT: WHAT IS THIS.

JOHN: it’s all on the scarf, buddy.

JOHN: it’s all on the scarf.

KARKAT: GET THIS NASTY FUCKING RAG OUT OF MY PROXIMITY!

TEREZI: H3Y, TH4T’S M1N3!

KANAYA: Uh

NEPETA: :33 < kanaya?

SOLLUX: is that np.

NEPETA: :33 < pawllux! youre alive!

JOHN: oh man.

JOHN: this is turning into a stupid circus.

GAMZEE: *HONK*

JOHN: shh!

NEPETA: :33 < hi kanaya and sollux

KANAYA: Hello Nepeta I Am Glad To See You Are Alive

NEPETA: :33 < you too kanaya! and sollux although something is wrong with your eyes

SOLLUX: yeah i’m blind n0w.

SOLLUX: it’s n0t as bad as i th0ught it w0uld be, th0ugh.

JOHN: blah blah something timeline blah blah blah vriska dead.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

KARKAT: WHAT’S THIS SHIT ABOUT VRISKA BEING DEAD? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!

KANAYA: Vriskas Dead?

NEPETA: :33 < no!

KARKAT: NO!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: SHE’S ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR OVER THERE, THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING!

JOHN: blah blah something tavros blah blah ring

SOLLUX: wh0’s talking.

NEPETA: :33 < oh thats john hes a human in blue godtier pajamas

JOHN: blah blah vriska’s ghost something something “reasons”?

KANAYA: Karkat What Is He Doing Here

KARKAT: WOW, GREAT QUESTION!

KARKAT: WHY DON’T YOU TAKE A FUCKING NUMBER AND BLAH BLAH SHOUT SHOUT BLAH ANGRY KARKAT RANT!!

NEPETA: :33 < hmm so sollux how did you go blind

SOLLUX: ed zapped me with his stupid science stick and kn0cked me 0ut.

NEPETA: :33 < ah

SOLLUX: he als0 killed ff and kn but kn came back t0 life and chainsawed him in half.

NEPETA: :33 < ahh

JOHN: blah blah ghost blah blah weird house thingy blah blah retcon something how...

KARKAT: HER GHOST??????

KARKAT: HE’S TALKING ABOUT GHOSTS EVERYBODY!

KARKAT: EVERYBODY LISTEN, HE’LL SURELY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ANY SECOND NOW! THIS SHOULD BE GREAT!

JOHN: ok guys, really, i’ve messed with your time line enough as it is.

You watch as John gently pats Vriska’s head, brushing a few stray hairs away from her face. Vriska’s eyelids twitch.

JOHN: sorry for clocking you, vriska, if you can hear me in your dreams. haha, you probably can’t.

JOHN: but hey, i guess this means i get to meet alive you soon, instead of ghost you?so that’s neat.

KARKAT: EGBERT DON’T YOU DARE FUCK OFF

JOHN: please tell her i’m sorry for punching her in the face.

JOHN: but also, she’s welcome for saving her life.

JOHN: i’ll see you guys later. um, in three years to be precise.

KARKAT: WHAT???

KARKAT: NO, DON’T

KARKAT: YOU STAY THE HELL PUT. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU UGLY, PEEJAY PACKING, FLAPSNIFFING _SHIT INFANT_

JOHN: bye everyone!

John waves cheerfully at everyone on the roof. You wave back as he starts glowing white and disappears in a flash of light.

KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

==> Nepeta: Attempt to clarify situation.

While Karkat is still screaming incoherently at the spot which the John human vanished from, Vriska starts to stir on the floor.

VRISKA: Uuuuuuuugh.

Terezi is at her side almost instantly, making small noises of reassurance and helping her into a sitting position. You step closer to Vriska as well, although you try to keep a respectful distance from the tender (and adorably pale) moment she and Terezi are sharing.

VRISKA: Terezi?

TEREZI: 1’M H3R3, VR1SK4

VRISKA: Terezi, did you try to kill me?

TEREZI: 1

TEREZI: Y3S

TEREZI: 4 ST4B 1N TH3 B4CK

TEREZI: 1T WOULD’V3 B33N QU1CK

VRISKA: Whoa.

TEREZI: 1 COULDN’T L3T YOU L34V3 TH3 M3T3OR, YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO

VRISKA: Lead Jack to the meteor so he could kill you all, yeah, I got it. Honestly, I didn’t think you had the guts to follow through in your threat.

VRISKA: Gotta say, Pyrope, I’m impressed!

She punches Terezi’s side lightly. You watch as a small smile appears on Terezi’s lips.

VRISKA: What happened, though? I remem8er John was there and then........

TEREZI: Y3S JOHN SHOW3D UP FROM TH3 FUTUR3 TO KNOCK YOU OUT SO 1 WOULDN’T K1LL YOU

VRISKA: Whaaaaaaaat?

TEREZI: OR SOM3 V3RS1ON OF TH3 FUTUR3, 4NYW4Y

TEREZI: H3 M3NT1ON3D SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT T1M3L1N3S 4ND 4 D34D FUTUR3 V3RS1ON OF M3

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y 3GB3RT W4SN’T TH3 ONLY ON3

TEREZI: N3P3T4 T4CKL3D M3 4T TH3 S4M3 T1M3 4ND 1 FUMBL3D MY SWORD

TEREZI: 1 TH1NK SH3 W4S TRY1NG TO STOP M3 FROM K1LL1NG YOU TOO

Vriska turns to look at you. You meet her gaze. She seems to be trying to glare at you, but her eyes are still a little unfocused from getting a concussion. It kind of ruins whatever menace there is in her stare.

VRISKA: Is that true?

NEPETA: :33 < yes

VRISKA: _You_ tried to save me?

NEPETA: :33 < yes :33

VRISKA: Why?

NEPETA: :33 < i guess i just didnt want to s33 another dead body

NEPETA: :33 < i know we were nefur very close and im not the version of me that you knew but i didnt want you to die

VRISKA: Oh.

VRISKA: That’s...nice of you, I guess.

VRISKA: W8.

VRISKA: What do you mean, “not the version of me that you know”????????

NEPETA: :33 < um

KARKAT: THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

KARKAT: SINCE EGBERT ZIPPED OFF TO WHO KNOWS WHERE TO DO INEXPLICABLY STUPID THINGS, THAT BRINGS US TO OUR NEXT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION.

KARKAT: NAMELY, THE RANDOM APPEARANCE OF A NEPETA ON THE ROOF, WHERE ALL SORTS OF IMPORTANT AND TIMELINE-ALTERING THINGS WERE GOING DOWN, APPARENTLY, FOR NO EXPLAINABLE REASON.

KARKAT: I SAY “A” NEPETA BECAUSE THE CAT GIRL HERE WITH US APPEARS TO BE WEARING MAGENTA ACTION PAJAMAS, WHICH, IF VRISKA’S OUTFIT IS ANY INDICATION, ARE GAINED BY GOING GOD TIER. AND AS FAR AS I KNOW, NEPETA DIDN’T GO GOD TIER DURING OUR SESSION.

NEPETA: :33 < purrobably

NEPETA: :33 < i should also mention that your timelines nepeta is dead

TEREZI: TH4T 1S CORR3CT

TEREZI: 1 S4W TH3 BODY MYS3LF

TEREZI: SH3 4ND 3QU1US W3R3 K1LL3D BY G4MZ33

GAMZEE: *HONK*

KARKAT: ...OKAY.

KARKAT: SHIT.

KARKAT: THAT MAKES ANOTHER TWO MEMBERS OF OUR TEAM DEAD BY MY APPARENT INABILITY TO KEEP MY OWN FRIENDS FROM BRUTALLY MURDERING EACH OTHER, THEN.

KARKAT: SO IF YOU’RE NOT THE NEPETA I KNOW BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD NOW, WHO ARE YOU?

NEPETA: :33 < well im still nepeta

NEPETA: :33 < its just that im a nepeta from a doomed timeline that somemeow ended up in youre timeline

NEPETA: :33 < ive b33n here maybe thirty minutes and im not dead yet so i think id like to stick around a while?

KARKAT:

VRISKA:

KANAYA:

KARKAT: WHAT.

SOLLUX: hell yeah np, welc0me ab0ard.

TEREZI: Y3S W3 WOULD LOV3 1T 1F YOU STUCK 4ROUND, M1SS M4TCH4 SMOOTH13

NEPETA: :33 < yay!

KARKAT: _WHAT._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some parts of the pesterlogs are taken directly from canon so yeah. credit to andrew hussie for writing homestuck
> 
> doomed nepeta is basically just wearing her trenchcoat over a rogue of heart outfit + using her rogue mask as a headband
> 
> i cant commit to an update schedule because im pretty sure this took me upwards of two months to finish. i dont want to leave a multichaptered fic unfinished though trust me
> 
> oh also pls leave kudos and comments if you like i am but a simple artists who thrives off attention and validation


	2. ==> accept the reality of the next 1.5 sw33ps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nepeta attends a corpse party (or lack thereof) and talks to her old flushcrush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this nepeta is a little ooc because shes been through slightly different experiences than canon nepeta. just wanted to make that clear

==> Nepeta: Participate in corpse party.

You are NEPETA LEJION, and you are a little overwhelmed-no, _ovfurwhelmed_ (nailed it) by everything happening. After being semi-officially accepted by the alpha timeline trolls as one of them, you sort of ended up just...hanging out on the roof, as the others seemed to be waiting for something.

The something turns out to be a trail of bright green light seeping through the darkness ahead of you. It seems that the the meteor has to follow the path through the FURTHEST RING, but you’re not completely sure how the meteor is supposed to follow the path in the first place. Then Sollux steps forward, crusty patches of blood on his clothes, and starts pushing with his psionics. You feel the meteor shaking, speeding up under your feet, and watch in horror as Sollux squeezes every last bit of energy he had in his body out, finally collapsing on the ground lifeless and in a puddle of gold blood. But he did it. He brought you to the source of the green light.

Looming in front of the meteor is a massive green star. It ripples with waves of unnaturally bright energy, bathing the roof of the meteor in neon green light. And there are people waiting for you. There’s Sollux’s ghost, half-blind but still looking considerably better than the corpse he left behind, there are two godtiered humans who you’ve never seen before, and there’s Aradia, except she’s alive and wearing the godtier robes of a MAID OF TIME, deep red wings fluttering behind her. Her eyes are bright and she is smiling the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her face.

NEPETA: :33 < aradia!

ARADIA: hi nepeta! its nice to see you again

ARADIA: i dont remember you being godtier though

ARADIA: i thought only vriska reached godtier before our session ended?

NEPETA: :33 < umm well i am actually not the nepeta you knew

NEPETA: :33 < im from a doomed timeline and i died and i was in the dream bubbles fur a while but then i ended up here and im not sure how

ARADIA: really?

ARADIA: you dont look doomed to me though

NEPETA: :33 < i dont?

ARADIA: nope!

ARADIA: have you looked in a reflecting surface recently?

NEPETA: :33 < um

NEPETA: :33 < no?

ARADIA: oh well in that case i will just tell you that your eyes are normal!

ARADIA: theyre yellow and black like i assume they were before you died

NEPETA :OO <

VRISKA: Megido!!!!!!!! You look GR8 in your new fairy getup!

VRISKA: Seriously, you look 8etter than you ever looked 8ack home! Even 8efore you were dead and all that.

VRISKA: Hey, you’re not still mad a8out that 8y any chance, are you? It was reaaaaaaaally long ago and you were haunting me and stupid fucking Scratch kept egging me on and it seemed like the 8est solution at the time.

VRISKA: You’re not going to flip out again and 8eat me up, right? 8ecause I’ve 8een thinking that it was kind of a 8ad decision on my part to do what I did. Like, maaaaaaaay8e I shouldn’t have killed you and come up with a different solution to deal with all the ghosts you sent to my hive. And hey, you’re godtier now, so no more harm done, right?

ARADIA: vriska are you trying to apologize

VRISKA: Uhhhhhhhh.

VRISKA: Iiiiiiii guess so?

SOLLUX: pretty lousy ap0logy if y0u ask me.

NEPETA: :33 < hi again sollux!

SOLLUX: hi again np.

ARADIA: sollux look i told you they would bring your body

SOLLUX: ok, well i believed y0u about that, but yeah, i can see that.

SOLLUX: ew, can some0ne get rid of that thing please?

ARADIA: oh!!!

ARADIA: sollux lets do it!

SOLLUX: what.

ARADIA: the corpse party!

ARADIA: theres no better time and there are so many corpses here to work with

ARADIA: is everyone okay with that? do you want to have a big corpse party?

ARADIA: we can incinerate the remains in the sun it will be just glorious

VRISKA: No!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < or maybe anofur time

ARADIA: oh

ARADIA: i just thought it would be a nice thing to bond over

SOLLUX: aradia not every0ne is as into death as y0u. like, it’s co0l to see y0u so excited ab0ut something, i’m seri0usly thrilled about that.

SOLLUX: but frankly it’s all pretty fucking morbid t0 everybody, i just th0ught you sh0uld know.

ARADIA: am i really that bad?

TEREZI: Y3S >:|

ARADIA: oh

ARADIA: sorry

ARADIA: i guess ive spent enough time here that i just dont see death as the terrible thing the living make it out to be

ARADIA: i honestly feel like its a reason to celebrate!

TEREZI: TH4T’S OK4Y 4R4D14, NO ON3’S BL4M1NG YOU

TEREZI: 1 4CTU4LLY TH1NK YOUR WHOL3 D34TH F4NG1RL TH1NG 1S FUNNY 4ND K1ND OF CH4RM1NG >:]

ARADIA: death fan girl thing?

ARADIA: what do you mean

TEREZI: OH COM3 ON

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 PR4CT1C4LLY B3S1D3 YOURS3LF W1TH G1DD1N3SS 4T TH3 1D34 OF S3RV1NG 4S TH3 M41TR3 D TO 4LL DR34M BUBBL3S

TEREZI: YOU LOV3 B31NG TH3 C4R3T4K3R OF W4YW4RD SOULS 4ND DR34M3RS!

TEREZI: LUCK1LY YOU M4K3 4N 4DOR4BL3 H4NDM41D TO TH3 M4ST3R OF D34TH, 3SP3C14LLY 1N YOUR CUT3 CH3RRY P1X13 3NS3MBL3

ARADIA: you think so?

NEPETA: :33 < absolutely!

NEPETA: :33 < you look pawsitively adorable in your godtier clothes

NEPETA: :33 < and you look so much happier than ive efur s33n you

ARADIA: thanks nepeta!

NEPETA: :33 < youre welcome!

NEPETA: :33 < also if youre the handmaid of death do you know why im not dead?

ARADIA: hmm

ARADIA: i cant say how you were restored to the land of the living

ARADIA: but i have an idea as to how you were able to stay

ARADIA: this timelines nepeta is dead isnt she?

TEREZI: Y3S >:[

ARADIA: and this nepeta entered after she died?

NEPETA: :(( < yes

ARADIA: ah

ARADIA: well then

ARADIA: i think when alpha timeline nepeta died and you entered this timeline

ARADIA: it was like you were taking her place

ARADIA: so youre not a doomed self anymore

ARADIA: youre the new alpha timeline nepeta!

NEPETA: :OO < so im really alive then?

ARADIA: yes!

NEPETA: :OO <

==> Nepeta: Process information.

Aradia said you were alive again.

Aradia said you _are alive again._

You fall silent as you grapple with this morsel of information. Karkat takes advantage of the sudden lull in conversation to start yelling at people, demanding answers and explanations, and Aradia chimes in, along with the humans whose names you still don’t know. You haven’t been on the meteor long enough to understand everything they’re talking about, so you stay quiet and listen.

You learn that the huge star you’re in front of is the GREEN SUN, and it was apparently supposed to be blown up, except it actually can’t be blown up at all. You learn that the human girl with the SEER OF LIGHT godtier robes is ROSE LALONDE and the human boy with the KNIGHT OF TIME godtier robes is DAVE STRIDER, and they both died and went godtier while trying to blow up the sun (which obviously didn’t work). You also gather that it has been a very stressful last few hours for the other trolls on the meteor, and Karkat in particular is right on the edge of a (purrfectly justified) nervous breakdown.

Then you learn that the other people on the meteor are going to be traveling through the Furthest Ring to a new session of SBURB, where you’ll _all_ be able to achieve victory, and you wonder what victory means for you, a previously doomed Nepeta, restored to life through a loophole in the rules of paradox space.

The journey is going to take a very long time-three human years, which seems to be roughly the same amount of time as one and a half Alternian sweeps. And Aradia and Sollux aren’t coming. Aradia says she wants to stay behind to aid the ghosts of the Furthest Ring, and Sollux is tired and misses his friend (moirail? matesprit? You never got to ask exactly how they felt about each other) and doesn’t feel like he belongs among the living anymore. Kanaya wants to stay, but the Rose human convinces her otherwise.

You wonder if you should stay, too. You don’t feel quite like you belong here either. You’re alive now, but you were already so used to being dead and doomed that you wonder if it would just be easier for you to go back to the dream bubbles and stay there.

You could tell them that you want to stay behind too. It wouldn’t be hard. All you have to do is say the words. But you don’t.

Instead, you put your hands into the pockets of your overcoat and watch as plans are made, as a bucket with a letter inside appearifies out of nowhere and Karkat reads the letter in a strangled voice before finally having a mental breakdown.

(He falls backwards onto the floor and shrieks like a wiggler as the others look on in concern and Vriska laughs at him.)

You watch as another visitor-a cute little carapacian who is grievously injured-arrives and everyone decides it’s time to leave. You watch as Aradia and Sollux say their goodbyes and promise you all one last good push across the Furthest Ring.

Aradia and Sollux leave, and the meteor shakes under your feet as you move, and you realize that your chance to stay behind is gone. You’re stuck on this rock for the next three human years, like it or not.

==> Nepeta: Explore.

After some of the adrenaline fades, the other trolls and humans realize that there’s no point standing up on the roof when they have three years to spend on this meteor and they might as well make themselves comfortable. Several people are worried about supplies and sleeping arrangements, and Terezi tells everyone that there are plenty of alchemizers to work with and offers to show the humans where they are.

You have different priorities, though.

You wander away from the others and start to explore the meteor, trying to map it out in your thinkpan. In your travels, you stumble into a lot of weird things, like a chalky outline of a troll surrounded by bronze blood and battered scalemates, a weird laboratory with mutated chess pieces in big test tubes, and several large piles of horns.

At one point, you walk into yet another weird storage room with crates and random things like teapots and stacks of towels scattered around it. You pick up one of the teapots. It’s pink with little black cats painted on it. It reminds you of your SGRUB land. You put the teapot down and look around the room again. You spot a door which you almost missed because it was half-hidden by boxes and walk through it.

Your newly-functional bloodpusher squeezes painfully when you realize what’s in the room. It’s mostly empty save for some boxes and a few art supplies on the floor. The walls, however, are painted with diagrams of your friends and some of the humans paired together with quadrant symbols over their heads. It’s a familiar sight, especially the art style everything is drawn in, because it’s your art style.

This is (was) alpha timeline Nepeta’s shipping wall.

You walk around the room, gazing at the walls and evaluating your alternate self’s ships. There’s a drawing of Feferi and Sollux and another of Tavros with the Dave human, which makes you sad. There’s a drawing of Gamzee and Karkat, which makes you hiss with rage. There’s a drawing of Vriska and Terezi as kismeses (hmm), a drawing of John with a carapacian you’re _purretty_ sure is the injured one that appeared on the roof awhilago, and a drawing of a human girl with dark hair and glasses auspisticizing Karkat’s past and future selves, which makes you laugh.

In a corner of the room is a stack of boxes pressed against a part of the wall with the edge of another drawing peeking out from behind it. It looks like your alpha timeline self was trying to hide whatever she painted there, but she’s dead and according to Aradia you’re the alpha timeline Nepeta now, so you move the boxes away from the wall and find yourself staring at a very big portrait of you and Karkat kissing with a red heart over your heads.

_Oh._

KARKAT: HEY, NEPETA, DID YOU ALREADY

KARKAT: UH.

You turn around, aware of the fact that Karkat found you looking at your other self’s ship art.

NEPETA: :33 < hi karcat

NEPETA: :33 < did mew want to ask me something?

KARKAT: UM. YEAH. I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE I NOTICED YOU WEREN’T WITH THE REST OF THE OTHER IDIOTS WHO ARE CALLING DIBS ON RESPITEBLOCKS AND ALCHEMZING PERSONAL ITEMS ALREADY.

KARKAT: SO I WANTED TO CHECK THAT YOU WEREN’T DOING ANYTHING TOO STUPID AND I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO THROW A HISSYFIT BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD RESPITEBLOCKS WERE TAKEN OR SOME DUMB SHIT LIKE THAT.

NEPETA: :33 < oh well that was furry thoughtful of you

NEPETA: :33 < but its fine i just wanted to explore the meteor

NEPETA: :33 < ill catch up in a bit

KARKAT: OKAY. THAT’S

KARKAT: THAT’S FINE I GUESS.

NEPETA: :33 < okay

There’s an awkward silence. The two of you stare umcomfortably at the painting of you and Karkat kissing.

KARKAT: UM.

KARKAT: LOOK, I KNOW SHE HAD A FLUSHCRUSH ON ME, OKAY?

KARKAT: SHE DIDN’T TELL ME OUTRIGHT, BUT THERE WERE TIMES WHEN IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS SHE LIKED ME.

KARKAT: SO I SORT OF KNEW, AND I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. BECAUSE I DIDN’T RETURN HER FEELINGS.

KARKAT: I MEAN, SHE WAS MY FRIEND, AND EVEN IF ALL HER STUPID ROLEPLAYING AND CATPUNS GOT ON MY NERVES SOMETIME SHE WAS STILL A WHOLE LOT NICER THAN SOME OF THE OTHER ASSHOLES I HAD THE DUBIOUS PLEASURE OF CALLING “FRIENDS”.

KARKAT: BUT I DIDN’T LIKE HER AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A FRIEND.

KARKAT: AND BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HER AS ANYTHING MORE THAN A FRIEND, AND I DIDN’T WANT TO GET HER HOPES UP THAT I WAS BEING NICE TO HER BECAUSE I LIKED HER BACK OR WHATEVER SO I WASN’T ALWAYS NICE TO HER AND NOW SHE’S DEAD AND

He breaks off and waves his hands at you miserably. You nod in understanding.

KARKAT: AND EVERYTHING’S GONE TO SHIT.

NEPETA: :33 < yes i got that

NEPETA: :33 < so this version of me had a flushcrush on you too

KARKAT: TOO?

NEPETA: :33 < dont worry about it karkat

NEPETA: :33 < i think i had a bit of a crush on you befur i died

NEPETA: :33 < i had a crush on my timelines karkat i mean

NEPETA: :33 < but not anymore

KARKAT: OH.

KARKAT: THAT’S A RELIEF, I GUESS.

NEPETA: :33 < yes i think i gave it up after a while in the game

NEPETA: :33 < i didnt really s33 you as gentle or being a great leader or purrticularly good with relationships or anything id have a crush on

KARKAT: UH, OKAY.

KARKAT: HARSH.

NEPETA: :33 < well i dont know what youre like in this timeline

NEPETA: :33 < maybe youre diffurent from the karkat i knew

NEPETA: :33 < and you have a chance to be a better leader and troll now

NEPETA: :33 < so dont give up on yourself okay?

KARKAT: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT? I’LL TAKE IT.

NEPETA: :33 < okay!

NEPETA: :33 < we can still be furiends though right?

KARKAT: I

KARKAT: YEAH. SURE. NO PROBLEM. I’D LIKE THAT A LOT.

KARKAT: I’M GOING TO GO NOW.

NEPETA: :33 < actually ill come with you

NEPETA: :33 < i think i want to alchemize some cleaning materials

KARKAT: YOU MEAN FOR THE

NEPETA: :33 < yes

KARKAT: OKAY THEN. FOLLOW ME, OR WHATEVER.

You turn to follow Karkat out of the secret shipping wall room, taking a last glance at the drawings as you go.

You feel ready to start alchemizing supplies now-things you’ll need for the sweep-and-a-half-long trip, and, like you told Karkat, some cleaning supplies to get rid of alpha timeline Nepeta’s now-inaccurate shipping wall. After all, you’re alpha timeline Nepeta now, and you’re going to make the most out of the second chance you’ve been given. Which means you’re not going to be dwelling on your other self’s unfulfilled hopes and dreams too much, because you have other plans for what you’re going to be doing on this meteor. All of the plans. All of them.

(You’re going to make a new and updated shipping wall.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im sorry this took long i got sucked into. other fandoms. i dont want to abandon this though so ill still try to update it will just take really long


End file.
